This list of call centre conversations is doing the rounds. Would the individuals responsible for these gems please own up?
Even better… if you have any other examples please feel free to add them!! 🙂
Customer: ‘I’ve been ringing 0700 2300 for two days and can’t get
through to enquires, can you help?’.
Operator: ‘Where did you get that number from, sir?’.
Customer: ‘It was on the door to the Travel Centre’.
Operator: ‘Sir, they are our opening hours’.
Caller: ‘Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?’
Operator: ‘I’m sorry, sir, I don’t understand who you are talking
Caller: ‘On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly
states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall
socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give
me the number for Jack?’
Operator: ‘I think it means the telephone point on the wall’.
RAC Motoring Services
Caller: ‘Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me
when I am traveling in Australia ?’
Operator: ‘ Doesn’t the product name give you a clue?’
Caller ( inquiring about legal requirements while traveling in France )
‘If I register my car in France , do I have to change the steering
wheel to the other side of the car?’
Caller: ‘I’d like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff please’.
Operator: ‘I’m sorry, there’s no listing. Is the spelling correct?’
Caller: ‘Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the
‘B’ fell off’.
Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company
Operator: ‘Woven? Are you sure?’
Caller: ‘Yes. That’s what it says on the label;
Woven in Scotland ‘.
On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds
from a phone box told a worried operator:
‘I haven’t got a pen, so I’m steaming up the window to write
the number on’.
Tech Support: ‘I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop’.
Tech Support: ‘Did you get a pop-up menu?’.
Tech Support: ‘OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?’
Tech Support: ‘OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up
until this point?’.
Customer: ‘Sure. You told me to write ‘click’ and I wrote
Tech Support: ‘OK. In the bottom left hand side of the screen,
can you see the ‘OK’ button displayed?’
Customer: ‘Wow. How can you see my screen from there?’
Caller: ‘I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just realized that I need it.
If I turn my system clock back two weeks will I have my file back
There’s always one. This has got to be one of the funniest things
in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not
fired. This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which
was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care
department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired;
however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization
for ‘Termination without Cause’.
Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee.
(Now I know why they record these conversations!):
Operator: ‘Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?’
Caller: ‘Yes, well, I’m having trouble with WordPerfect.’
Operator: ‘What sort of trouble??’
Caller: ‘Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden
words went away.’
Operator: ‘Went away?’
Caller: ‘They disappeared.’
Operator: ‘Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?’
Caller: ‘It’s blank; it won’t accept anything when I type.’
Operator: ‘Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??’
Caller: ‘How do I tell?’
Operator: ‘Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??’
Caller: ‘What’s a sea-prompt?’
Operator: ‘Never mind, can you move your cursor around the
Caller: ‘There isn’t any cursor: I told you, it won’t accept
anything I type.’
Operator: ‘Does your monitor have a power indicator??’
Caller: ‘What’s a monitor?’
Operator: ‘It’s the thing with the screen on it that looks like a
Does it have a little light that tells you when it’s on??’
Caller: ‘I don’t know.’
Operator: ‘Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find
where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??’
Caller: ‘Yes, I think so.’
Operator: ‘Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it’s
plugged into the wall.
Caller: ‘Yes, it is.’
Operator: ‘When you were behind the monitor, did you notice
that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??’
Operator: ‘Well, there are. I need you to look back there again
and find the other cable.’
Caller: ‘Okay, here it is.’
Operator: ‘Follow it for me, and tell me if it’s plugged securely
into the back of your computer.’
Caller: ‘I can’t reach.’
Operator: ‘Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??’
Operator: ‘Even if you maybe put your knee on something and
lean way over??’
Caller: ‘Oh, it’s not because I don’t have the right angle –
it’s because it’s dark.’
Caller: ‘Yes – the office light is off, and the only light I
is coming in from the window.’
Operator: ‘Well, turn on the office light then.’
Caller: ‘I can’t.’
Operator: ‘No? Why not??’
Caller: ‘Because there’s a power failure.’
Operator: ‘A power……………………………….. A power
Aha, Okay, we’ve got it licked now.
Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your
computer came in??’
Caller: ‘Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.’
Operator: ‘Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and
pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the
store you bought it from.’
Caller: ‘Really? Is it that bad?’
Operator: ‘Yes, I’m afraid it is.’
Caller: ‘Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell
Operator: ‘Tell them you’re too f*%king stupid to own a