The Washington Post -venerable organ of American literary might that it is – sometime deviates from coverage of politics and dumping on incumbent presidents to organise some light hearted relief for its overly college educated readers. One such competition has come to be known as the “Mensa Invitational”. The rules are pretty simple and you’ll enjoy reading the competition entries.
Basically readers are asked to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Easy! The winning entries were:-
1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
2. Ignoranus: A person who’s both stupid and an asshole.
3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.
9. Inoculatte: To take coffee! intravenously when you are running late.
10. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
11. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
12. Karmageddon: It’s when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, and then the Earth explodes, and it’s a serious bummer.
13. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you
14. Glibido: All talk and no action.
15. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
16. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web.
17. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
18. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you’re eating.
Now…. I think this sort of thing has merit! It looks like something the cynics literary folk of Northern Ireland would be good at. So here’s you chance. Same rules… just the words should have a special Norn Irish meaning!
Take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.
Submit your entries below.