It being the time of years that’s in it I was set to thinking about Christmas presents and particularly about naff presents that have come my way over the years. Now a “naff” present is hard to define ‘cos, let’s face it, one man’s naff gift is another man’s doosie! But among my favourite naff presents that have landed in my lap are:-
1. A new razor – I have a beard!
2. A comb – I’m bald!
3. A book on golf – my shelf groans under the weight of golf tomes and, yet, I still can’t play!
4. Homer Simpson socks – like I have no style and a brass neck?
5. One opera ticket – like I’m deaf and, and insult to injury, wouldn’t be able to get a date as well!
6. A second-hand putter – as if someone with the unerring putting style of a young Ballesteros would need such a thing!
7. Soap on a string – like I’m some blind doddering old git in need of a wash but who can’t remember where the soap is!
8. A year’s subscription to Readers Digest – like an internet genius such me needs the print medium for information!
9. 2 pre-scratched lottery tickets – like I’m a loser who is so uncoordinated that I couldn’t even manage to scratch the things myself!
10. A bottle of brandy – obviously re-cycled from someone else and since it’s never been my tipple obviously from someone who thought deeply about giving this present!
And that would be my top ten naff presents but the list stretches so far into the mists of time that I have blotted many from memory!
This year… instead inflicting a naff piece of crap from Wooolie’s on a friend why not pop online and give something from this catalogue:- Oxfam gifts
Happy Christmas and hears to sensible giving!